William Lloyd Fucking Garrison

Today's topic: The book “Defending Slavery.” Oh boy. Theres a black girl in here.

The Curse of Ham: used to justify racism, does not apply to bacon (thank goodness).

The part about the negro gardner; saying a black gardner gave Eve the apple and the serpent had nothing to do with it. The only way this seems more likely is in that black people typically have hands where snakes tend not to.

Illness in slaves that cause them to run away, also known as “logic.” Notoriously absent in Southern plantation owners at the time.

Black girl is actually Indian. Close enough?

Whenever profs say “in the face of..” or something like that, I can't help but replace it with “IN DA FAAAACE!” in my head. Proslavery arguments threw this point IN DA FAAAACE of blahblah.

Why the word blah? Is there a preferred spelling or does everybody kind of wing it?

The Dixieland Democrats – awesome band name.

The PT Barnum of Abolitionists, the wet dream of anti-slavery activists, the American flag-waving boner of freedom – William Lloyd Garrison.

Theres a girl in class legit taking notes on an iPad. People do that? I thought iPad's were just a bigger screen to play Angry Birds on.

Prof is having us read this book to have us realize that the proslavery argument had a couple merits in their day. Is the whole book necessary? Make a powerpoint man.

I just don't like this prof. I'm not going to read your book, I'm not going to be a communist, and I'm seriously not going to buy or read your book. I don't even want to know the title. I would rather eat your book than read it, good sir. And for $25 dollars I would rather eat any other thing.

Why does it seem that the only people that still talk about racism and race relations are rooms full of college educated white people?

I should be a sassy black woman.

Ok not really. I'm pretty white and non-confrontational and I'm attracted to women, not to mention my utter absence of any other sassy qualities. But a man can dream!

Thursday I'm wearing a cutoff tuxedo shirt, tore up Levi jeans, cowboy boots, and a Budweiser hat to this class. Lets talk about sum'a that there slavery! It would almost be worth it to interrupt the silent class with the loud crack of a beer can opening.