Samuel Beckett, Con-man

Now this is the story all about how

Coatzee turned Beckett upside-down

and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there

I'll tell you how Watt focused on numbers and repetition

Iiiiin Kenner's analysis, Rational Domain,

English babble's where he spends his whole essay

Cadences, pedantry, formal english drool

Talkin' about Beckett's interest in the math school

When a couple of guys who were up to no good

Started analyzing style and likelihoods

They didn't even fight, but I got scared

and said “i'm getting on facebook to get this outta my hair”

I pulled off to my notes 'round 11:38

and I said to my reading

“Homework! Smell ya later!”

Looked at my profile, I was finally there

Sit on my throne and be terrible at college.

I was hoping that would take more time. Balls.

I think Beckett found a way to write, make lots of money, and dick around while fooling everyone into believing he was the hottest shit this side of the hog confinement.

Example: this is a direct quote from Beckett's novel, Watt.

“Dis yb dis, nem owt. Yad la, tin fo trap. Skin, skin, skin. Od su did ned taw? On. Taw ot klat tonk? On. Tonk ot klat taw? On. Tonk ta kool taw? On taw to kool tonk? Nilb, mun mud. Tin fo trap, yad la. Nem owt, dis yb dis.”

All he did was write a jibberish paragraph, reverse the letters, and throw it in there. And here we are, spending thousands of dollars to discuss this riveting piece of literature.

Things I could buy with a year's tuition (around $7,000):

6,500 Rodeo burgers from BK (with tax)

A 2003 Ford Windstar off craigslist

Rent a Class A RV for 3 weeks

2,000 slip and slides.

A very large bathtub filled with delicious candy.

Ok nevermind i'm bitching.

WTF we're still talking about this? Beckett might be my new favorite author simply because I think he was and still is fucking with English scholars.

Beckett: “Dude I'm gonna write something so convoluted and weird that everybody will assume its awesome.”

Support for this: Beckett wrote an A version of this book that made sense. It had a plot, had an order and actually made sense. Beckett did two more revisions and the C version was the published and well-known version. He took pieces from the two prior, threw them together in an order that made no sense and had no context, and published it.

Coetzee: This is Beckett's response to realism, blahblah Beckett Rulez

Me: Beckett wrote a novel that made sense, it was poorly received, so he went the modernist route and fucked with it til people thought it was brilliant.

Boom, money for Beckett. High fives and sexy ladies.

Prof is pissed because nobody can answer “what was the author's intention in writing this?” I feel like me telling him my theory about his favorite book wouldn't go over well.